Xmas Quotes 2014


This year was our first Christmas away from extended family in our new California home. I was worried we wouldn’t be able to match the level of previous years’ quotes, but I think we pulled it off.

I’d be embarrassed to open presents with those lips.

I’ve never been this hungry.

Dad said I could wake everybody up.
Ok, have them brush their teeth.

It has an actual foot inside.

It feels dry like my real lips, so I like it.

This looks like “congratulations on your baby boy” cereal.

Don’t rub your eyes after eating those candy canes.

Sweet. Did you kill a wolf for this?

I actually have a lot of dreams about going to prison.

Is that how long babies are?

Is it made out of marijuana?

My dolls can sit on it and skate on it.

Whenever she was sad she’d make me scratch her head.

It’s so light it can’t be breakable.

No one loves their helmets but it’s just part of life.

Are you still wearing my bra?

You’re gonna need some coffee if you’re gonna play “Just Dance.”

I’m pretty funny.
I’m hilarious.

I never knew I could be sweating on Christmas.

They don’t even know who photographaphed them.

She broke her phone on the mechanical bull.

I was pretty angry with the ham.

Your head is like a dart board.

You threw away all the fun games.

I hope your butt burns forever.

About brian

Author of the words you're currently reading. I have children, drums, a sports car, and am not a good keeper of fish. I am not above eating spiders for cash.
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