There Arose Such A Clatter: Xmas Quotes 2011

Real quotes from a large family Christmas gathering in a small midwestern town

  • It’s too fluffy!
  • I’m used to having Mexican painters in the house.
  • I thought you were a sheep!
  • Is your face okay?
  • I nearly always will be wearing something.
  • We don’t go to the potty without Patty.
  • I don’t want the maid on the same floor as the TV.
  • I wear vests to hide the jelly roll.
  • We’ve never had a more bean conversation.
  • We were worried about the puppy chow they were eating in the closet.
  • My bet’s on the one-eyed dog.
  • Your finger? Where’d it go?
  • Put all the left handed people on the same side.
  • The head was off when I went in there, but I put the fork in him.
  • Knights weren’t allowed to play with those indoors, either.
  • I put the turkey carcass in the shed.
  • The oven always catches fire when I use it.
  • Do they ever go plop next to the toilet?
  • It’s my JonBenét Ramsey party dress.
  • The cats ate on it all afternoon, but we have a fox in the neighborhood.
  • Our grandparents didn’t ever take kids to the emergency room.
    • Well, they didn’t have self cleaning ovens.
  • You’re about to light Fred Bird on fire.

What about your family gathering?  Add your own quotes in the comments.

About brian

Author of the words you're currently reading. I have children, drums, a sports car, and am not a good keeper of fish. I am not above eating spiders for cash.
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